You ever struggle with just being yourself? I do. Let me first say though, I love me. I know who I am and I know what I stand for. I know my strengths and I know my weaknesses. I know all of my quirks and when you add it all up, you get a pretty awesome package. But still I struggle with being me.
Why? Because not everyone else loves me. Now, don’t get me wrong. I am a pretty pleasant person to be around and I don’t have any enemies that I know of. But throughout my life, I have noticed that alot of the people I interact with only love parts of me.
Let me explain. I can get a little crazy. Not like girls gone wild crazy, but goofy, silly, acting a fool crazy. Ask any of my friends and they will tell you that I am the queen of practical jokes. I put people through torture inventing new ways to prank them. I recall one time I was meeting up at a restaurant with a few of my roomies. I arrived before them, put my coat down and headed to the restroom. When I came back, my roommates were there interrogating the waitress. The poor lady. “Where is she? Is she hiding under one of the tables? Tell us!” It was a proud moment for me. Anywho, some people really love that side of me, the fun-loving, light-hearted side of me. However, some of these people start to squirm and get uncomfortable when they see the other side of me come out.
The other side is the serious contemplative side. If you haven’t yet noticed, I am passionately in love with Jesus. My relationship with Him is the most important part of my life. He ranks number one on the seat of my affections and my life’s goal is to grow more in love with Him daily. I process everything in light of my relationship with Him. I think deeply about things and I love having deep conversations about Him. Some people really love and appreciate the deeper side of me. But some of those people look at my goofy side and think it’s immature and juvenile.
So I run into this issue of people embracing one side of me but not the other…anyone else go through this?
God has put a handful of people in my life that have really embraced all parts of me. I have friends that see even all of my weaknesses and still think I’m amazing. That has always been incredible to me. I look at some of my weakest moments and think to myself, why do you want to be my friend? But these people are true treasures and they stick by me, through thick and through thin.
The point of all of this is that I can never please everyone. Take it or leave it but this is who I am. Read what God has to say about me and you:
“Oh yes, you shaped me first inside, then out; you formed me in my mother’s womb. I thank you, High God- you’re breathtaking! Body and soul, I am marvelously made! I worship in adoration- what a creation! You know me inside and out, you know every bone in my body; You know exactly how I was made bit by bit, how I was sculpted from nothing into something. Like an open book, you watched me grow from conception to birth; all the stages of my life were spread out before you, the days of my life all prepared before I’d even lived one day.” Psalm 139 :13-16 MSG
God knows everything there is to know about us and He loves every part of us. He loves ALL of it. He loves all the intricacies, all the quirks. He knows the passions that make your heart beat a little faster and He knows what makes your heart break. He knows it all and He not only loves you, but He is in love with you. He knows our weakness, but He never sees us in light of that. When He sees our weaknesses, He sees a platform for His goodness and His strength. He knows who we are in this present moment and He knows, by His grace, who we will become.
In short, don’t sweat it. You do you boo.
