Now I can say to myself and to all, “Relax and rest, be confident and serene, for the Lord rewards those who simply trust in Him.” (Ps. 116:7)
In my previous post Removing Every Obstacle, I wrote about the importance of actively working towards removing every hindrance in our life for the purpose of fully experiencing the abundant life Jesus has promised us. Fear is one of the biggest hindrances on the list. Over the past several weeks, I have been doing a lot of heart examination as I have asked myself and the Lord honest questions about the role fear has played in my life, the havoc it has wreaked and how God is asking me to let it go. In the paragraphs that follow, I have included snippets from my own journal that read as a declaration against fear.
I am tired of living with fear in the driver’s seat of my life. I am tired of allowing fear to rob me of the joy of the present moment. I am tired of allowing fear to steal away my time and energy. I am tired of making decisions and thinking thoughts that are largely motivated by fear. I recognize that I have been using fear as a crutch. I have allowed fear-fueled thinking to be my guard, “my protection,” and to keep me feeling in control.
I need to stop playing God.
God is my protector and defender. I can and I will let my walls down. I can take risks and experience vulnerability. I don’t need to know and prepare for all the outcomes. Worrying does not keep me safe. It robs my joy. Fear is not my friend. It’s my enemy.
God can rewire my mind. He can help me to process pain and uncertainty. I can depend on Him to guide me, counsel me and lead me moment by moment, day by day. I do not need to know what tomorrow brings. I can trust God today, 24 hours at a time.
My life will not be perfect. I will not be perfect, but my God is! Through every difficulty and mistake, He will continue to cause me to grow, to learn, to be made Holy and to look more like Him. This is my story and my process.
I am not self-dependent. The weight of the world is not on my shoulders. It is not up to me know everything. I am only human. I have weaknesses and limitations and struggles, and that’s allowed! But my God is God and His strength is more than enough to cover my every weakness.
Fear leaves me feeling like I’m not enough and like I don’t measure up. It demands perfection and performance and leaves me continually exhausted, on a hamster wheel striving to reach a standard that I can never attain. It leaves no room for flows or weakness. The only one who has attained that standard is Jesus Himself. No one expects me to be perfect, including God Himself, so why do I? I am loved for who I am, even in my imperfection.
The one thing God requires of me is trust. I need to turn away from my anxious thinking and direct my thoughts to my beautiful, trustworthy, faithful savior, who has an amazing life planned out for me…even when I don’t see it or understand it. My understanding brings worry and anxiety. His understanding immerses me with love and reassures my heart with peace.
Every day along this journey is an opportunity to live brand new. The life-giving, resurrection-bringing power of the living God courses through my veins. He alone has the power to reverse the impact of trauma and pain and make me new. I already have the victory. I step into the winner’s circle and hold my trophy high, the trophy He won for me. Living in this victory is a daily choice, an intentional habit I must make. A choice to move my gaze from my problem to THE ANSWER. A choice to lock eyes with my savior and never turn my head or look away. He is my champion and I am a champion in Him.
I let go and I let Him. I invite Him into every room of my heart. He wants all of me. I choose to be present. I won’t remain stuck in yesterday or run off into the unknowns of the future. I choose to keep my head and my heart planted, along with my two feet, in this present moment. I am held in my Savior’s embrace. I am known. I am loved. I am seen.
