I got in my car and drove off after a heated argument. I had gotten myself into a situation that I couldn’t seem to get myself out of…worse, that I didn’t want to get out of. Worry and fear ate at me day after day. Despite my best efforts to change things, I was powerless to stop the toxic cycle I had gotten myself wrapped up in. The only way to stop the pain was to let go and walk away, something I could never bring myself to do. So as I drove home that night, I cried behind my steering wheel and yelled out to God, “I’m not happy!” In that moment, a truck pulled out in front of me. In big yellow letters written on the back of the truck, came God’s response. “You deserve the best.”
I wish I could say that was the moment that things turned around and I got my act together. But this moment was a part of a process that God took me on to help me to learn what I deserve and what I am worthy of, based on His opinion of me and nobody else’s. The truth is based on my own merit, I don’t deserve much. However, the moment I chose to make Jesus my Savior, I took on a new identity and became a princess in a royal family. So now, according to my heavenly Father, I’m worth more in His sight than I can ever imagine or comprehend. In the eyes of my Father, I truly do deserve the very best.
The other night, I was listening to the song Rescue by Lauren Daigle. I heard my story within the words of the song, as if they were sung from Jesus to me.
I will send out an army to find you. In the middle of the darkest night, it’s true, I will rescue you. There is no distance that cannot be covered, over and over. You’re not defenseless. I’ll be your shelter. I’ll be your armor.
Words of gratitude came from my lips, as I thanked God for being my rescuer. I stopped to consider every person that has been part of the army that He sent for me, to find me, to love me and to help to restore to me to an understanding of who I am and who I am not. I stopped to consider how in my darkest moments, the Lord found me and how he repositioned me. I stopped to consider how thoroughly He changed my whole life and how thankful I am to be here today.
More than anything, it humbles me and fills me with immense joy to stop and consider that my Father thought I was worthy of rescuing. He never intended for me to go the journey alone, even when it was my own mistakes that led to my downfall. And His plan for me and my identity in Him never changed based on the rough situation and what I did to contribute to it. Rather, He transformed my heart and mind and changed everything else in my life to align with the identity and plan that He had purposed for me all along. In our Father’s eyes, we always deserve the very best. You are worthy. Allow yourself to believe that and watch love transform your life.
