Be sweet.
Be messy.
Be celebratory.
Be home.
I clipped the words referenced above from a magazine and glued them to a vision board sometime a couple of months ago amidst the hustle bustle of the holiday season. They echoed truth that God had already begun to whisper into the core of my being.
I didn’t set resolutions for this year. But I did walk out of 2019 with an idea of how I wanted to live my life differently. There are elements of my process that God has definitely highlighted and things I’d like to emphasize from here on out.
Be messy. This year I’d like to allow life to be messy at times. I’d like to work on accepting the fact that nothing is perfect. Nobody is perfect, including me! And as much as I’d like things to always fit into the neat categories I’ve created in my mind, things seldom do. There will be messy emotions. Messy situations. There will be things that take a while for me to work out and understand. There will be highs and lows, good days and bad days and all the in-between days. I’d like to embrace the mess and to leave behind the expectation of what things should be and what they should look like, so that I can simply enjoy what is.
Be celebratory. This year I’d like to learn how to celebrate…everything! I’ve recognized lately that I am walking in so many of the things that I used to only dream about, but I rarely take the time to celebrate being here. Instead I get overwhelmed by to-do lists, overcome by tasks and sometimes if I’m honest, I find that I’m not mentally present to cherish the gifts and opportunities God has given me. This year, I want to make sure I stop to take it all in. I want to make sure I stop to appreciate the people He has given me to come along for the ride. I want to take in every sweet moment and learn to really relish it and allow myself to feel all the joy I am intended to feel. As for the to-do list, I want to learn when it’s appropriate to throw it out the window (or more likely put it safely to the side), so I can make space to enjoy the blessings of the day.
Be home. Lastly, I want to make space to be home. This takes on a dual meaning for me. I would like to actually be home. I find myself out every night of the week and plan to make intentional moves to invest in family and invest in myself. It may not seem like it, but making space for rest is one of the best investments you can make in yourself.
But also, I want to learn to be at home in my own skin. To know at the core of my being that I am okay and that I am enough. I’d like to get comfortable with the fact that no, I’m not perfect, but yes, I am awesome! I’d like to feel at home in love, in God’s love and the love of the ones He has put beside me. I want to get really cozy and at rest in love, instead of resisting it or trying to fight it. I want to feel at home in my dreams, knowing that God has good things in store for me and that I was made for incredible things.
I want to learn to simply be in 2020. To be Theresa. To be the best version of me I can. To rest, to be still, to breathe, to trust, to have faith, to breathe hope and get comfy in a true sense of who I am and who God is in me.
