Free.

Wherever the Spirit of the Lord is, there is Freedom. (2 Cor. 3:17)

Yesterday was an ordinary day.  I woke up, got ready and went to work.  I came home relaxed, made dinner and did some house cleaning, just like I do most Wednesday nights.  Although yesterday was just an ordinary day, I found myself bursting with joy and gratitude.  I found myself content.  I found myself loving life and loving myself.  Although yesterday was ordinary, it was extraordinary.

Let me tell you what I didn’t do yesterday.  Yesterday, I didn’t spend my whole day consumed by fear, worry and anxiety.  Yesterday, I didn’t put myself down.  I didn’t feel fat or ugly.  Yesterday, I didn’t doubt myself, my capabilities or if I have what it takes to pursue my dreams.  Yesterday, I didn’t feel plagued by shame or disappointed in myself.  Yesterday, I didn’t feel like a burden.  Yesterday, I didn’t question whether I deserve good things.  Yesterday, I didn’t live in survival mode.  I lived in thriving mode.

Yesterday, I enjoyed the little blessings in life.  Yesterday, I was able to focus and be present.  Yesterday, I was able to look forward to a bright future.  Yesterday, I felt beautiful.  Yesterday, I felt confident and sure of myself.  Yesterday, I knew I will succeed, both now and in the future.  Yesterday, I was able to embrace even the messy parts of me and recognize that I am beautifully in process.  Yesterday, I smiled knowing I am cherished and loved.

There was a time in my life that a day like yesterday wouldn’t have been possible.  Although I enjoyed good times and good days, fear, anxiety, self-doubt and all it’s ugly cousins always seemed to show up at my parties.  Even though there are days, when these unwelcome intruders sneak in the back door somehow, I don’t invite them in anymore the way I used to.  And I certainly don’t allow them to stay for any length of time.  There was a time when I didn’t know what life was like without their presence but now I do.

It’s been a journey to arrive at days like yesterday.  It’s been a hard journey at times, but a very rewarding one.  It’s required me to submit to the healing process.  It’s required me to visit unpleasant places in my history and confront unpleasant emotions.  I’ve had to choose a new way of thinking and being and relating to the world around me.  I’ve had to learn to confront lies I’ve always believed and to discover the truth of my life.  This has been the hardest road I have ever traveled, but it’s come with a degree of freedom I’ve never known before and I’m excited to continue experiencing life in a different dimension than I ever dreamed possible.

Jesus is freedom.  When chaos surrounded me, I found Him.  At the moment, I found Him I knew peace was possible.  Hope was possible.  Freedom was possible.  I am learning what it is to explore new depths of His love and to live unshackled and unhindered.  I am learning to spread my wings and to soar with Him.  I am learning to see through a new lens.  And through my discovery, exploration and adventures, I arrive at the same conclusion over and over again.  He is good, He is good, He is good.